Illusions!

I don't disagree with most of my friends but I find it hard to believe that there is a pure, uncomplicated pearl of peace nestled within each of them, forcing its way to the surface when violence is celebrated. I understand the ideal of peace, the desire for human on human violence to end once and for all, and the anxiety over watching fellow Americans scream the initials of our country over and over at the report of Bin Laden's death. But, to me, it is precisely this visceral outpouring of emotion and joy that speaks volumes about human nature. I don't mean to say that humans are evil, but we are certainly violent. We have to be. We have had to be over the years to survive in a hostile world. I know the ideal is a preserved environment, free from human harm, humans tending to the Earth like mythical good shepherds, life expanding! But this isn't even remotely possible. We need to die. We need to kill. It's inevitable. I don't mean we need to be cruel, but we cannot live without killing. Life does not exist without death. We keep populating a planet, killing on a vaster scale than necessary to survive. Again, this isn't about STOPPING killing, it's about acknowledging that this is in fact what we are doing and what we have been doing for thousands of years. The sooner we can admit this, the sooner we can get on to some viable solutions.

As for the specific rejoicing over the death of Bin Laden, sure, it's disturbing. I was not out in a crowd chanting and I didn't want to be. But I did feel an odd sense of satisfaction. I did feel like something important happened. I have no illusions that this is any REAL progress but perhaps John Stewart is right in his notion that the face of evil transposed for many Americans on to all the faces of the Arab world is gone. There might be room for healing, room for peace. Maybe not. Who knows.

The thing that disturbs me about all this is the violence with which peace is invoked. Clearly not a physical violence but there is a knee jerk reaction to it all that is unsettling to me. The rush to declare oneself peaceful, to show the world "I AM NOT ONE OF THESE ASSHOLES CHEERING" to condemn it, to feel superior really. I know I know someone will argue that that's not the case but we have to use an opportunity like this to counter hate and promote peace. But it fails. I try to put myself in the shoes of the cheering masses and think about what I would think if I read these things or someone misquoted MLK, Jr. at me. And I would probably think, "NOT NOW YOU FUCKING HIPPIE BIN LADEN IS FUCKING DEAD!" And I kind of feel that way as someone ambivalent about the whole thing. I think it's nice that we have the ability to speak our minds on these issues and promote our causes and try to change the world, but I also try to think pragmatically about what will actually work to achieve that change. I think being the change, as Gandhi said, is nice, but it's not always effective. I think an honest assessment of what humans are capable of and what we're up against is necessary. Harboring illusions about the true possibility of peace is dangerous to the cause of peace.

I don't know. I just get frustrated. I've lost a little idealism, I suppose, but I still want the same things a lot of my friends want, as professed on Facebook. But context is important. True compassion for other people is not giving them the finger of peace when they are happy. Perhaps there are other ways to capitalize on an event such as this, work with the perhaps misguided joy of people in a different way. I'm not very good at this either, striking back at these sincere attempts at promoting peace by posting articles about the MLK, Jr. misquote and discussing a version of what I said here on Facebook but I don't really think that's changing anything much either.

And now someone will organize a rally and no one will care but some folks will feel good and that's ok too. We need our illusions.